Weight Right Here: Health Advice from an Avowed Couch Potato (Marathon T- 21 Weeks)

For some people, jogging isn’t enough for their exercise needs. Those people are nuts. It is suggested, if you are suggestible, that lifting weights is a good way to balance your regimen.

Now if you are in shape, you may need to go to a gym for weight training, as most normal people do not have a bunch of weights just hanging out around the house. However, getting to a gym can be a lot of work. It often involves walking, at least from the car to the gym. Or so I’m told – I’ve never actually been to a gym.

So if you are in shape, tough luck. I recommend my plan instead: I am a good number of pounds over an “optimal” weight. Which means that every time I stand up, I am lifting weights.

So, I make sure to get in a least six reps a day (getting up to eat breakfast, getting up to go back to the couch, getting up to eat lunch, etc.). On intense work out days, I’ll make sure to include at least two extra trips to the kitchen for Doritos. I bet they don’t serve Doritos in most gyms.



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Reasons to Run: Health Advice from an Avowed Couch Potato (Marathon T-23 Weeks)

I am often asked, why exercise?

Besides supporting a good cause (CLICK HERE), the cartoon below explains it better than I could.

(My source: http://ifunny.co/fun/euiiog9T2)

Getting in shape to kill zombies

Going the Distance: Health Advice from an Avowed Couch Potato (Marathon T-24 Weeks)

To be clear, I am not running a full marathon, but rather participating as part of a relay. Apparently I will be going 4-6 miles.

It’s not that far, the length of a football field or something like that I think. But the “in shape” people in my life keep implying that I might have bitten off more than I can chew. So I decided to test the distance.

I went six miles the other day, and I gotta say – it was a snap. Don’t know what all the fussing is about.

UPDATE: My wife has suggested that my post may be a tad misleading, and strongly posited that I should clarify.

By “went six miles,” I mean I drove them in a car.

And by “I drove,” I mean my wife drove while I was in the passenger seat.

And by “in the passenger seat,” I mean that I may have been napping.

The part about it being a snap was true. I can sleep pretty much anywhere.



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Vitamins Part 2: Health Advice from an Avowed Couch Potato (Marathon T- 25 Weeks)

As an expert on the Flintstones, I am sharing what I know about vitamins. We talked about the first three, A, B & C last time.

On to Vitamin D: You get this one from sunshine – you don’t even have to eat a pill! It would be natural for you to think that if you get vitamin D from the glow of the sun’s light, that you can also get it from the glow of your flat screen TV’s light, but you would be wrong.

Your couch is too far away from the TV to get a proper dose of vitamin rays. This is why you need to get your i-pad or other tablet device up as close to your face as possible while playing Words with Friends. Soak up the rays, people!

Vitamin E: E stands for Eisenhower. I think this vitamin was discontinued in the 50’s.

Vitamin F: When showing an early draft of this article to my research department (mostly my cats, as everyone else I ask to verify my research tends to hang up on me), I was told that most people don’t think that vitamin F exists. Oh, it exists, my friend. Simple math, really – just count them: Fred, Wilma, Barney, Betty, Pebbles and Bam-Bam. 6 Flintstones, so there must be six vitamins, which takes us from A to F.

Hold on, I forgot Dino!

Vitamin Dino: Dino is the disappointment vitamin. You want Dino, because let’s face it, when you are five, Fred is kind of lame. So you want Dino, but do you ever get Dino? No, you always get Fred. Or Pebbles – Pebbles is for babies, I don’t want Pebbles, I don’t! I don’t!

I think my sister went through the jar and took out all the Dinos. And if you think I’m being paranoid, you haven’t heard of the infamous “Lucky Charms without any Marshmallows” incident.

I don’t want to talk about vitamins anymore. I need my therapist.



Hey, want to support a great cause while following my workout advice? CLICK HERE.

Vitamins: Health Advice from an Avowed Couch Potato (Marathon T- 27 Weeks)

Apparently an important part of being healthy is knowing your vitamins. Now a lesser healthtician would look up some stuff before talking about vitamins, but I am pretty much an expert already: I grew up watching every Flintstones episode on TV, so there can’t be much more for me to learn.

For your benefit, here are the vitamins:

Vitamin A: All you really need to know is that this is the vitamin of choice for the Fonz.

Vitamin B: Should you take B, or not take B? Huh, that does seem to be the question.

Vitamin C: This is an important one, for avoiding the common cold or the common scurvy. C comes from oranges, so I assume it is a food color kind of thing. So make sure to have plenty of orange food in your diet.

Okay, I know what some of you are saying: Doritos are orange, so if I eat a lot of Doritos, I get all my vitamin C, right?

What a maroon. Of course not.

Only the nacho cheese flavored Doritos are orange – if you aren’t eating in balance, and just crushing on the cool ranch, you won’t get nearly enough C. So make sure your Doritos are orange to get the full health benefit.

Okay, that just made me hungry, so I’m going to stop now. We will cover the rest of the vitamins next week.



Hey, want to support a great cause while following my workout advice? CLICK HERE.

Study of Running: Health Advice from an Avowed Couch Potato (Marathon T-28 Weeks)

My brother, the runner, coach PE instructor blah blah blah, claims that running is more that just going out and moving fast.

There’s a science to it, and studies show something or other about such and such – I don’t know, I stopped listening to him the moment I realized we weren’t going to talk about Pop Tarts (why is the Vanilla Creme so hard to find? Does Vanilla only grow seasonally?)

But I took whatever it was he said to heart, and realized that I should study the art of running.

So I’ve set the Tivo to look for:  The Amazing Race, Midnight Run, The Running Man and Chicken Run.

Am I missing anything?



Hey, want to support a great cause while following my workout advice? Check this out: CLICK HERE.

Marathon Training: Health Advice from an Avowed Couch Potato (Marathon T-29 Weeks)

No school today, so a good time to get serious about the marathon training. I figure I need to see how in shape for this I am, sort of a base line to mark improvement from.

So today is marathon try #1 day, baby!

So far I’m doing good: I’ve finished the entire Battlestar Galactica miniseries, and am digging into season 1. It’s tiring – I probably should have started with something lighter, like Parks & Rec or Gilmore Girls. Hindsight…

I’m doing this up like the pros do. I have Cath stationed with little cups of Doritos between the couch and the kitchen, so I can re-nacho-ate at regular intervals. And I’m not ignoring my liquids – I have three colors of Dew within arms reach at all times. Got to keep healthy, people!

Tired, but I think I can push through a few more episodes. “Gonna Fly Now!”



Hey, want to support a great cause while following my workout advice? Check this out: CLICK HERE.

Me on TV

Producer Annika Young has put together a segment on the writing of Superbook; and I am featured in the piece.

The story will air on The 700 Club on Friday, October 10th. Check your local listings.

Here are a few shots from the interview taken by Shawn Gary:

With producer Annika and Superbook powerhouse, John Schafer

With producer Annika and Superbook powerhouse, John Schafer

Sean thinking

This last one, they caught me thinking between takes. The serious look on my face implies that I am either thinking about how SB is changing the way the youth of the world think about the Bible; or I’m wondering if there will be any donuts at the craft table.

If you see the feature tomorrow, let me know what you think. I haven’t seen it yet – and am very curious!

just my thoughts,


Eat Right: Health Tips from an Avowed Couch Potato (Marathon T-30 weeks)

Getting in shape isn’t just about exercise, you also have to eat right. Which is why I am making a conscious effort to add more fruit to my diet.

Starting now, I am making a preponderance of my Poptarts the kind that has the fruit filling.

And my breakfast cereal of choice from here on out is Cap’n Crunch – with the Crunchberries.

Now I know what some of you are thinking. “Why not get the Crunch that is all Crunchberries?”

Duh – a healthy diet is a balanced diet. Those little crunch squares balance off the fruit. Add milk, and you got yourself a pyramid in a bowl.



Health Tips from an Avowed Couch Potato (T – 31 Weeks)

A risk in workouts is focusing on one part of the body, and ignoring the others. This apparently creates an imbalance, like really thick arms and puny legs. So the key is balance.

For example, on alternate days I work the TV remote with my left hand.

Balance, people. Balance.



To track Sean’s progress toward the marathon, and maybe help out a good cause, CLICK HERE.